Day 5 & 6 - Hyper, Hypo and Surrey Hills.
SATURDAY - sugar level stress.
Waking up on Saturday felt like waking up on a Monday hehe! Sandy and I headed out on our bikes in the afternoon, it was going to be my longest ride out yet and if I’m honest I wasn’t really in the right headspace for it as my sugar levels were high after breakfast (not surprisingly) so my mood was a little ‘unstable’. Felt a bit naffed off for no reason although I was looking forward to the ride. I was 17mmol so I injected 1 unit of insulin and we packed our pockets with glucose gels and snacks for the ride.
It’s paramount that diabetics always, ALWAYS carry a hypo stash with them in case of a hypoglycaemic attack - where you sugar levels drop below 4mmol. It’s an emergency situation if they do fall and requires immediate action to take a fast releasing carbohydrate of around 15g or 150ml. A slower releasing carb snack like a fruit bar, cracker etc should then follow. Anyway - I’ll make a hypo stash post another time! Basically, we stuffed our pockets (AGAIN - major kudos to Sandy for always double checking we have enough and being right not the ball with this!) and we headed out for a ride.
It was pretty windy and a really tough ride for me, the toughest yet. Lots of flipping hills which are both mentally and physically challenging, mentally because of my recent fall as I’m afraid of not being unable to unclip my feet fast enough and physically, because there are some crazy hills around here!! We did munch through them though, Sandy sometimes plods off to the top and comes back to meet me still churning away, (his strength and stamina amazes me) and never fails to encourage me to keep going. We did climb the ‘toughest hill’ in Surrey which I managed to attack with a fair amount of gusto mixed with rage and stubbornness! On the whole I was knackered and just didn’t have any energy to carry me through the ride with pleasure, it was a real effort. I put it down to only having had breakfast and then the high sugar levels - my energy stores were pretty depleted. On the homestretch I was yawning my head off and felt as if I couldn’t go on but when Sandy suggested this mum came to pick me up instead of climbing Box Hill…!!! ERRM NO! - my ego took a hit and I pushed through, cursing the whole way.
To say I was cream crackered, doesn’t do the exhaustion justice! haha! I absolutely loved being out on the bike with Sandy, enjoying the stunning views and being out in the elements together, it was invigorating at times and the feeling of accomplishment after climbing a hill is great! It’s also thrilling to be zooming down roads at a speed that makes you have to talk aloud to yourself, “Calm down, breath, relax. You’re okay, you are okay.” So grateful to be able to get out and move, push my body and to do it alongside such a supportive partner is the best. We did about 70km, climbed 1,150m and my fastest speed was 50.4km/h! It took 3.50hrs and that was with a few stops to reboot sugars and rest in the grassy roadsides. Keen to do that route again and see how the stats will compare!
That night, I crashed out.
SUNDAY
A restless nights sleep as my body temperature was high due to sugar levels floating in the teens again. Pretty frustrating as I then woke up feeling like a cranky spanner with a mood as low as the ocean bed. I drifted out of bed around 10.45am, floated downstairs and found myself sat in the conservatory gazing into the garden just staring at the leaves on the trees.
I genuinely don’t like to focus on the negative or the downside of things but I must say that recently, I’m really finding myself getting fucked off with the shitty mood swings that come with diabetes. I’m an optimist most of the time but I really get frustrated with the cranky stiffness when waking up with high levels, the negative mindset I find myself stewing in and the emotional turmoil which tags along like the third wheel no-one invited.
HOWEVER a 180 was on the horizon as Sands suggested we did some yoga to get wiggling. Initially my inner voice rejected this invitation, violently, but my mouth decided to take over and agreed, calmly.
We cleared the living room of the table and futon, put some music on and I started with some pranayama for about 5 mins and slowly started to unwind my body. I closed my eyes for the first 15 mins of the practice and decided to simply let go of any expectations and just surrender to moving however my body asked. My mind started to let go of the stress had built up overnight and I found myself really needing the feeling of grounding. My root and sacral chakras were depleted and I was conscious not to over think about it but to just allow the movement to flow through me.
Sandy did a time-lapse of our flow on his phone which I didn’t realise until nearing the end when he told me, and I am really glad he did. It’s fascinating to see how I unravelled. We serendipitously synchronised in Crow Pose which brought joy for us both; practising together but in our our space was a great way to connect on another plane. To physically connect without touch, to emotionally connect through our own practice with ourselves and subsequently together.
We then cooked a stew and he headed out late run the day for another 77km bike ride and I enjoyed a restful workout on the couch in front of the tv with the occasional bit of work on my laptop. (When I say work - my blog posting is pretty much it atm!) Gotta get hustling some more I think!
